She is crazy for the kissing.

Teenage Death Glare!

Highway 400, southbound, huge - hideous even – diaper explosion, pull over just north of Barrie to change it. Teenager goes to sit in grass, far away from rancid odour. She looks fabulous with the barn in the background and pictures are taken. She notices the photographing, tries to hide and then unleashes her most deadly glare.


Look closely only if you dare.

N’s Birthday

N celebrated her 36th birthday a couple of weeks back, and this last Sunday we went to the home of the ever fabulous JJ and stupendous Angela for brunch with them, and some friends. It was great. Our friends are so nice to us, and there were 2 other kids there. They were both older than Jemima, but after she finished being shy a good time was had by all. Mostly the big kids ignored her, and she tried to wear shoes that were WAY too big for her. Just as we were getting ready to go she had a little strawberry eating time with Isabelle on the stairs. Happy Birthday N, I love you!

My Brother, his Son...

My Brother


His Son



The Teenager and My Mother

Toothpaste of the Month May 2007

Have you ever cleaned paintbrushes in an enclosed space, and after a while the smell of the Varsol gets so strong that you can taste it? Keep that flavour in mind while I introduce you to Eagle Brand No.1 Tooth-Powder White – May 2007s Toothpaste of the Month.

An exciting blend of Thymol, Menthol, Camphor, Benzoic Acid, Calachagi (?), Eucalyptus Oil, Phenol, Lemongrass Oil and Kaolin; this very fine – soft even – white powder comes in a baby blue container with a trippy toothy logo. The container is easy to open, and has an inner lid to avoid spillage. However, the opening is a little too small to get the head of the toothbrush in, so if you want a good coating you have to tip it out on your brush, causing that spillage they were trying to avoid. The flavour is a mix of the aforementioned paint thinning chemical stew and good old-fashioned dust/dirt. This is the first powder where I can really notice the taste of the base. It reminds me of the smell of dusting the top of bookshelves. Not only does the taste of this powder come with great challenges, but I find it has a tendancy to effect the tastebuds for hours after, making other things taste different. I am not making it sound all that appealing - and to be honest – it isn’t. But it does a great job of cleaning your teeth, and the container is fun to look at. My guess is that the Menthol and Camphor taste in this powder will have long evaporated before I can finish the whole batch. It is worth a try if you are feeling up to a bit of oral adventure. With the attractive price of $1.69, how wrong can you go? You can probably find it in an Indian/Pakistani grocery store. I got mine at Iqbals Halal Foods.

Eagle Brand No.1 Tooth-Powder White – May 2007s Toothpaste of the Month.

Girls Girls Girls & Me

The Missus
She who holds my heart is busy looking for a job, so stressful. Sure, she is guaranteed some sort of employment through the school board, but you want to make sure you get into a good school with interesting work to do. Yikes, I don’t envy her. She even had to go and buy new clothes to look presentable for interviews. On top of that stress, she had people over on Saturday night and her mom and stepfather for dinner last night. Talk about piling it on to yourself. I did what I could to help. The teenager and I assisted in cleaning; I cooked dinner for the in-laws. This kind of thing weighs heavily on N’s mind though and there has been plenty of teeth grinding during the night. The situation doesn’t show much sign of letting up until the end of June rolls around and school is out. When she isn’t fussing about new jobs, and how messy the house is she is making movies and year book pages. One of the reasons I love her so, she can go, go, go. I only wish I had seen more of her when her thyroid was hyperactive and she could really get it done.

The First Born
She who I love dearly has had train-tracks re-installed on her teeth. You know, we started the whole dental correction thing nice and early with her. She first got braces back when she was 9, and she had surgery, and head expanders and the whole nine yards. Now it is back to the braces with the possibility of more surgery on the horizon. Poor girl, poor pocket-book. The braces look so uncomfortable, and they are cutting the inside of her mouth up something awful. Her driving lessons seem to be going well, and she exhibited more confidence when we drove to the grocery store last weekend. She recently did an audition for a scholarship at the Royal Conservatory of Music. She said it went OK, but I don’t think she has heard back from them yet. Her end of the school years stuff is starting up: rehearsals in the evenings, essays, studying. When I was in grade 12 I dealt with stress of school-work by just not doing it, she has a much better ethic than I ever did.


The Weiner Wonder
Where do I start with she who I simply cannot get enough of? First let us speak of the “huh” It seems like the word “yes” requires too much work and at all times can be replaced with the grunt “huh”. There are gradients of “huh” as well. It can mean a simple yes, or it can be stretched out a bit when one isn’t quite sure what is being asked, but feels as if an affirmative is necessary. For instance, “Mina, do you want Jam or Syrup on your French Toast?” “huuhh”. You can also double it up to “huh-huh” with a smile when something is mildly amusing. She isn’t the only one in the huh club either, I have heard at least two other kids at the daycare using it (Rebecca, Eli, I am looking at you.)

She is working on using two or more words together rather than just single nouns or verbs. No longer is it just “bye-bye”, now we get “bye-bye bed”, “bye-bye pee”, and “bye-bye good dog”. Last night there was “no eat”, “no bed” and “more book please”.

She isn’t eating well. She used to be a great (meaning not picky) eater. No longer, she was sick back in January/February and went off food. Her palate has never recovered. Sure there are days when she will eat a lot, but she is very particular now about what she will eat, and if you manage to sneak something she doesn’t like into her mouth it will all come horking out and then she makes a big dramatic show of scratching her tongue to get the offending flavour off. Mango, Lychee and Blueberry are always winning flavours, and cottage cheese is pretty much fine. Baked beans and rice cannot miss, and cheese and crackers goes over well most times. Only green grapes now, no red thanks and zucchini counts as assault.

She is experimenting with temper tantrums. If something isn’t going her way, flailing, howling and purple faced tears are soon to follow. It looks disarmingly real, but as soon as she gets what she wants the symptoms tend to vanish. She even threw one on the sidewalk last week, lying by the car, screaming “no”, causing her mother much embarrassment, and passers-by consternation.



And Me
I am suffering from a return of my dodgy ear and should make a Doctors appointment sooner than later.

As the warm weather arrives I find it is time for shorts and sandals. However with the return of warm weather gear comes the return of my annual cracking heels. Within 2 days of wearing the sandals for the first time I had 3 and 4 cm cracks all the way down through callous to live flesh on both my heels. The problem is easily remedied with the application of copious moisturizer, and the wearing of socks to bed, but until healing takes place I can’t wear the sandals. I will not wear shoes and socks with shorts, which means I am in long pants no matter what the temperature. Woe is me.

I am still loving my new job and really dig being downtown.

I have to book some time to go and work on our Parkdale house. Gussy up the yard for spring and all. Our place uptown has just had the basement water-proofed, which entailed ripping up all the shrubs along the base of the wall. The yard looks loads neater because of this, but it does make the remaining hedge look even more threadbare and unhealthy. I think I will try giving it more water this summer and see if that improves its health.

My extended diet of all thinks death/grind/black/gore metal seems to be having an influence on my feelings about humanity. I find nihilistic/misanthropic feelings creeping up on me regularly. I have been attempting to counteract this with healthy doses of Prince this week. As long as I am “getting all purple” things look up, but within an hour of my leaving Paisley Park I find myself wishing for the big red reset button. “Wipe the slate clean” the voices whisper.

I have been using a new toothpowder this week that has a taste that defies all reckoning, and has a prolonged effect on the flavour of other foods during the day. Stay tuned for this month’s toothpaste feature.