When making my thanks posting there were two sets of friends I forgot. Who have helped, probably more than they know.
Rye and Jasmyn and June - donated tons of clothes that are just now the right size. She has been wearing the shirts and the hoodies all week. They are a bit oversized still, but absolutely great for the cooling fall weather.
Xander, Anuta and the boys - donated the single most useful piece of equipment so far. The video baby monitor. They weren't using it (after 3 kids in quick succesion i think you get a tad blase), so they loaned it and it made it possible for us to feel ok about J crying things out, and learning to sleep on her own. Our renewed romantic life is all down to having evenings alone and that is all down to having J sleep in her own bed and that is all down to X and A's video monitor.
So thanks again to everyone who has helped helped helped. Couldn't be having such a fun easy time without all of you.